Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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