It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
