It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
