She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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