I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
