Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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