you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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