Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize