We're like a lot better than the average bears
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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