I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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