what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
