where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
