that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
