I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
