Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We are two peas in an std pod
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
