dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
