so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize