just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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