everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You can't special order awesome
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize