I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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