I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
