Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
