Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
