stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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