forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize