It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
