Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
