This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
