he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
