I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
