Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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