where am i from again
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
