I'm gonna have a badass scar
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
