I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
