Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
smell my finger.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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