We won't sleep together?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
