taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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