ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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