I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
