how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
