Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
