she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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