Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
