I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
