I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
