We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
