no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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