i think i have herpe
just one?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize