When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
