i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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