if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
