atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
