Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Duck Duck Cougar?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
