Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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