you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
