dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
