Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just want nice things and good sex
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
