we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
