You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
